That pain in my shoulders

You know that tight, knotted, firm pain at the top part of your shoulders? Sometimes it creeps to your neck? That pain that no amount of CBD oil seems to cure? Yup, that's right: It's the pain of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

Boy, am I feeling that pain now. I think I am gaining muscles in my arms from my poor attempts at pressing deep into my shoulders. As if I am commanding them 'RELAX!' with every push, with every press, with every poke. That pain is REAL. and it's years in the making: It was in the sandbox when a little boy I hated took my toy. It was in school when all the kids made fun of my name. It was when my parents divorced and crushed my dream of having a 'one happy family' for good. It was when I witnessed a fatal accident off a cliff in Turkey. It was when the boy I loved moved away. It was when I got my period. It was when I failed at math. It was when I had no friends, and it was when I had all the friends. It was when I broke up with that one. And it was when I broke up with that one. And that one. And the next. And the one after that. The list goes on. And now I shall add the 'weight of the world at a global pandemic' to the list, and tuck it away in my box of memories. I will continue to rub CBD oil on the pain, and bath in Epsom Salt baths for days, and massage it 'till my fingers swell.

Or maybe I should just take a load off and pass some of this weight along. 
But who I would be WITHOUT that pain? Would my head stand tall? Will my lungs suddenly have room to breathe?? Will I be able to be flexible again and reach head to toe???

Questions to myself on a foggy Thursday afternoon.