My name is Dr. Loost.
Dr. Cathleen Loost. Cathleen Maureen Loost. My friends call me Cathy. My mother used to call me Mauri. My father called me 'champ.' My husband calls me 'Doc.' Or darlin', once in a blue moon when he's being romantic. My sister calls me... twice a week. My son calls me never. I am sixty five years old. sixty five young. Or sixty five old. Depending on the day.
I've been a physician for as long as I've been married: thirty two years. My work life is as auto pilot as my love life at this time in my life. But I love what I do. Most days. And I love my husband. Some days.
I am sixty five years old, which some would say is retirement age.
My three best friends are all retired. They travel around the world. Go to the opera. The ballet. They take pottery class or learn a new language, and one of them even got her own private gigolo. A thirty years old tennis instructor named Philippe.
I am sixty five years old but I have the work drive of a thirty year old. The thought of retiring is as crippling as the thought of going to a night club after ten pm on a week day.
I love what I do. The patients, the challenges, the stakes, even the medical jargon that turns me on. I love it all. I love it so much I cannot imagine waking up in the morning without the sound of my alarm clock urging me to get up on my feet, wear my scrubs and schlep my physician kit out the door. But alas, my eyes are getting tired, and my three best friends are urging me to join their escapades and maybe even sexcapades around the world.
My husband is as neutral about this as Switzerland, and my son thinks I should work until the hospital tells me I must stop. But mainly because he blew out all of his cash on bitcoin so he's counting on me to make him rich.
So in the meantime, I wait.
I wait for a sign to tell me 'it's time'. I wait for Switzerland to rise up to the occasion, and I wait for work to show me that there's more to life other than work. So far I have not seen that. So I wait. I wait and I work. I work, and I wait...
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman