Lessons I Teach Myself
A sigh of relief
After holding my breath
For four years
A revolution in the making
One of love and hope
Not of rage and vindictiveness
Done are the days of the orange buffoon
waving his small genitals to the crowd he despises
Done are the days of hating the hate
Now it's time to see it.
See it and send it off
See it and pass it forward
See it and forget it
Or better yet
See it and forgive it
I once was not a believer of all things democracy
It was an idea that belonged in the playground
It was an idealist's game
And I didn't know how to play
Like so many others
I didn't know
I didn't use my voice to speak
I didn't use my pen to sign
I didn't use my ballot to vote
I was a non-believer in the political game of our lifetime
And now here I am rejoicing in the return of the facade of democracy
It is beautiful this facade
It is striking
And it hit me today
What a revolution of the spirit
This time has been for me
What a revolution of the spirit.
Welcome back democracy
Now I exhale.
When was the last time you fell asleep to a lullaby?
Some of us, when we were babies, held by our mothers, carried for hours, rocked in our cradle... heard lullabys on our entry into dreamland. Lullabys are like a hot chocolate on a cold winter day. They're comforting and touch the heart in that special sentimental way.
Go fetch yourself a lullaby, close your eyes as you lie in bed, and fall asleep to the soft slow sound you picked. Maybe you will feel nothing at all, and roll your eyes at my odd request, but maybe, just maybe, you'd be transported to your innocent self - the self that was so in tune with the beat of your heart and rhythm of your soul , and sleep rested and comforted, just like a BABY.
Heart: I'm worried.
Soul: Oh come on girrrrrl, what do you get out of being worried?!
Brain: She's worried because she thinks if she worry - then she can control the situation.
Soul: She can't control it though. No matter what she does...
Brain: Well Einstein what do you suggest - she does nothing!?
Soul: Accept the things she can't control. Worrying about it won't amount to anything other than a heartache.
Brain: Easier said than done. Or, maybe easy for you since you are not made of any body parts...
Soul: Excuse me? I am made of ALL body parts!
Heart: GUYS! You two can bicker all that you want but it doesn't change the fact that I'm beating heavy and worried about what may happen.
Soul: So... are you a fortune teller now girl?
Brain: She is doing what I told her to do - plan for worst case scenario so she can protect herself. That's how we do things around here, ya know.
Soul: You mean that's how YOU do things. I'm here too 'ya know', and that's not how I do things.
Brain: Oh yeah, right. You just hang out and are all 'in the moment' and all that. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even get out of bed!
Soul: If I would or wouldn't, what difference does it make?
Heart: Guys!!! Enough with all that. The more you talk the more I am hurting, and that's all that really matters right now. This worry is painful. It feels like a rock on me weighing hard and heavy.
Brain: Breathe honey. Inhale and exhale. And again...And again...
Soul: Yes, breathe. Just breathe. On that we can all agree.
Brain: It's all we can do right now.
Soul: It's all we have.
Heart: I feel... better now. Thanks. WE feel better now.
I wish there was world-wide acceptance.
Acceptance to all things and to all people.
Imagine all people accepting each other without a shred of hate, discrimination, or separation.
Just pure acceptance.
Too much to ask?
Too idealistic, naive, wide-eyed?
But if my alternative is hate and discrimination - I choose my wishful thinking.
I choose to accept the other.
I choose to accept HOPE.
I recently started a new ritual of sending a message to myself in the start of my day.
A message, an intent, a focus to aim to.
This morning I set it up to be 'SLOW DOWN.'
For a woman who is always on-the-go - even during a global pandemic when she is at home 90% of the time - slowing down my pace through my daily routines, errands, and different work or life engagements was like adding a breath of fresh air to my day.
So what happened today as I mentally and physically slowed down my every move?
*I SAW more things around me.
*I took my time responding to events or people rather than reacting.
*I DISCOVERED rather than controlled.
*I felt more rooted and grounded in my feet and my spine. Something I've been working towards in my yoga practice.
I still did productive things, but I did them with without a rush, but with attentiveness to my pace.
I am even sensing this type of attentiveness as I type away these letters on my laptop, focusing on the sensation in my hands and fingers rather than 'getting it done as fast as I possibly can.'
It became clear to me today, that when I slow down, the quality of HOW I do things - changes.
And isn't life sweeter when it is about the QUALITY of the journey rather than reaching the goal?
Food for thought. But chew on it... slowly.
Imagine: You look up to the night's sky, and all the countless stars have DISAPPEARED.
And you are not in a city or anything. Nope, you are in a remote dark part of the world where stars would normally show by the hundreds to the naked eye. Freaky? I think yes.
Stars represent hope in the horizon. Unknown possibility. A dream. A wish. FAITH.
When our ancestors started looking outside of themselves for answers, they looked up to the stars.
They learned how to literally connect the dots (not much had to be learned about this.
The human mind is a master in 'connecting the dots.') and named our stars a if they were barbie dolls.
So imagine a night's sky without stars. It's like living a life without hope. Without wishes. Without beliefs.
Imagine that... and then send a kiss of gratitude to the stars above tonight.
"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking." -Albert Einstein
Some of my biggest challenges in life have been when I was working through changing my thinking and my beliefs. And admitting I was wrong is NEVER an easy task for my know-it-all self.
In the start of the Pandemic, I took a course in Critical Thinking which made me look up close at my own confirmation biases, cognitive dissonance, and my overall brain making patterns even when there weren't any. That was a life changing course and if I had ruled the world (Not that I have any desire to, it sounds like a horrible job...) I would make it a requirement course to anyone. Along with therapy. And maybe yoga but that's pushing it a bit.
What I am trying to say is... Einstein was right with the quote above.
And with pretty much most everything he ever said. Guy was a genius after all.
So go on y'all, change your thinking and therefore...change your world.
These are historical times.
Let me repeat, these are HISTORICAL times.
And these times are - at times - HYSTERICAL as well.
And I mean that in both the comedic and tragic notions of the word.
So here I am, living in these historical and hysterical times, and chewing on the fascinating and devastating happenings every passing day, and I can't help noticing that I haven't been this engaged with my community in quite some time, and by 'quite some time' I mean EVER. Being socially distanced has made me feel connected to my fellow humans around the globe who are experiencing with me an array of feelings and happenings through these historical times. From Covid scares, to political divisions, I have found myself to be more invested with my community than I have before.
Actions that only involve ME seem more meaningless these days. Not totally meaningless... I won't pretend to be some selfless do-gooder a hundred percent of the time, but if my actions don't serve some other person or if I am lucky - personS, self involved actions lose some meaning these days. Or maybe turning my 'I' into a 'We' is another form of self soothing, of self caring, of managing the crisis of the moment.
They sure are fascinating times, these historical times...
We are inseparable, you and I.
I wake up with you, and I go to to bed with you.
I check in with you every day on the mat.
We move together, sweat together, shake together.
We dance together in the kitchen.
We are strange dancers you and I, but we have fun.
We walk on sandy beaches together.
We hike miles and miles and miles.
And yes, your arms are too long to your torso, and your shoulders are round, and you are not the tallest of the bunch, but you are beautiful, dear Body, and you're MINE.
Sometimes I neglect you.
I find myself forgetting how lucky I am to have you by my side - strong when you need to be, soft when I allow, and healthy with the floods of disease and sickness gushing through our world.
Sometimes I forget about you when I sit on the couch and watch a movie.
I drift to a world outside of you, Body.
I sometimes enjoy that, actually.
But when I am back to you, and I remember to honor your existence... I want to delve deeper and to get to know you better. Can you do the splits, Body? Can you dance in a way you've never danced before? How do you know to reach a hand over to a sad friend? How do you know to hold a newborn baby's head up high?
I never told you those things. You just KNEW them. Like you know to go to sleep at night, and you know to wake up in the morning, and you know how to make love, and you know how to breathe those sweet anchoring breaths of life into every step we make in this world.
You are my Shepard, Body. And you gently lead me through fields of sensations.
Sometimes I call the tingling of sensations 'PAIN', sometimes I call it 'PLEASURE.'
But either way I feel your sensations with every move, with every touch.
You are priceless, MY body. I wouldn't change you for the world.
Thank you for the feels, the joy, the tickles, the tightness, the pain, the ALIVENESS.
Thank you for being there since the start of my life, and thank you in advance for being there 'till its end.
With love, and more love, and more love...
Your mind and soul.
If I didn't have my daily rituals, my creativity and my sweetheart by my side this year -
I would have had a pretty good chance of losing my mind.
Seeing so many people who have literally lost their mind - and by that I mean their minds have been hijacked by Fox News and the likes, and TRUTH, FACTS and EVIDENCE seized to exist to them - makes me wish everyone had the resources and awareness to do some in depth introspection and to find out what makes them sane? What makes them connected? What makes them happy and nourished and thriving to be kind or at least NOT be unkind!?
Well, dear reader, let me start by asking you:
How do YOU not lose your mind in the world of misinformation, conspiracy theories, 'alternative facts', global pandemic, financial uncertainties, missing your loved ones, travel restrictions, etc. ?
Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog that may, or may not be, of any significance to anyone other than herself. If you found her lil' life lessons, stories, poems and blurbs meaningful to you, well that's f**ing amazing! Comment and share so she can pat herself in the back - she doesn't do that nearly enough. Cheers.