In this new era, there is one word that has taken on a new meaning for me.
There are probably others, but this one has been screaming at me loud and clear:
According to the gods of google's dictionary, RISK is a...:
~(noun) A situation involving exposure to danger.
I suppose it isn't hard to guess why the concept of risk has come up for me. The pandemic has brought along some real danger, and some perceived danger. Infections have been rising rapidly in Los Angeles over the last few weeks, so being exposed to danger is REAL. But the array of perceived fears floating around, like 'Will my industry survive this crisis? Will I get Covid from groceries? Is the government looking to put a chip in my brain? Is Bill Gates behind this?! Is Fauci!? Is the president taking control of this country? Masks will kill me! "They" are trying to control us!'
Sure, some of these are full-on debunked conspiracy theories. But nonetheless, they come from perceived fear. And be it real or perceived, fear forces us all to do mental gymnastics and weigh in on whether we'd take a risk. Whether it's about shaking a hand of a stranger during Covid (shocking that some people STILL do that!), using a public restroom, going to a party - an INDOOR party, (really people, are you nuts?!?) braving an airplane during this crazy time, and many, many more daily wonderings involving risk.
I used to think of myself as a risk taker, as someone who likes to face my fears. Takes pride in it, really.
But in this new era, I often find myself on the side of caution, re-evaluating if a risk I'm up against, is worthwhile. Sometimes I loosen up and feel my fearlessness rise up again (It's so missed!), and other times, I am way-too-safe-to-be-sorry like when I was wiping down every grocery item with a disinfectant for the first couple of months, and leaving delivery packages outside my home for days. Yes, I really did that.
It's... work in progress, and every new 'risky' situation confronts me with my own fears and whether they are real or perceived. This may take a while, but in the other side of this era, I will be braver, and once again, I will call myself with quiet confidence: a risk taker.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman