To Miss You

To miss you 
Is to be torn in half
No
It is to be shredded in pieces
So small that no one can see me 

To miss you
Is to lose my right to speak
If I ever had any
It is to not be able to utter a word
So silent that no one can hear me

To miss you
Is to love you
Not unconditionally
Because life is full of conditions
Even to the purest loves
There is an end game

To miss you
Is waiting in the dark
Clueless, hopeless, helpless, wandering
Checking every face that passes me:
Is it you?

To miss you
Is to forget what your face looked like at all
Or smelled like
Or how it wrinkled when you smiled
And how it blushed when I smiled

To miss you
Is strangely 
More loving to you
Than I ever did when I saw you
To miss you 
Is to love you
Is to be broken and love you still