The World's A Stage - A Collection Of Monologues #3

LISA:
Competent. Compassionate. Smart. Thick skinned.
Who we are looking for has to be all that. And more. Focused. Patient. Firm. Think sensitive teacher meets no-nonsense warden. Winning combination. Only combination that can take this job. A no-politics person. We don't care about your political views and by 'we don't care', I mean we don't want to know your political views. If you come here with an agenda, we will know. You can expect a thorough background check, medical records and screening of any and all social media posts you have ever published or commented on. This is a tough one for many, it sure was a tough one for me... privacy is a right to some of us, a virtue to others. To obtain this position - you must know beforehand that your privacy will be breeched. Please understand, it is truly essential for any prospective employees to prove to us that they align with our value of 'Patients Are Human First.' Considering our patients' backgrounds, you can imagine how tough it is to find the proper care these patients require. The world thinks they need to be ostracized, cancelled, locked up on an island. Or worse. We don't. We believe in providing healing, a second chance, an opportunity for rehabilitation. We are focused on the mental health of our patients and the challenges that their cases raise for us.

There. That's the spiel. 

And... if you wonder who's position you are applying for... it is MINE.
Those things I told you one must be to work here? I'm none of those things. Yeah... I take things too seriously, I judge every patient's every word, I lose my temper and don't work hard enough. Oh. And I'm political, all right. You bet I'm political. And after eighteen years on an island with fifty seven pedophiles - I think they need to be ostracized, cancelled, locked up on an island or WORSE. Or worse. Much worse. 

So, yeah. After eighteen years, I couldn't do it.
Maybe you can. Maybe you are thinking right this second 'I can change them...' I remember that feeling myself... and maybe you WILL change them, or maybe THEY change YOU. And years from now, you will stand right here, saying the same words I am saying right now to some young hopeful care givers looking to change the world. 
And that's MY spiel.

Once you fill your application, you can leave it on the desk. Candidates be notified by mail. Thank you for coming.