Lessons I Teach Myself
Lessons I Teach Myself
Mickey is taking a look at the hood of Hope's truck.
MICKEY: Um, yeah. You're gonna need a new engine. Yours got metal in it. How long you been driving like this?
HOPE: What....I got the truck on Craig's List two weeks ago. The guy said it was tip top shape!
MICKEY: Yeah, it's... not. Sorry.
HOPE: Fuck! The guy said... oh what the hell, it was cheap. I should have known. My bad.
Hope turns to address the ice cream truck:
HOPE: It was short lived, but I want you to know little lady, that it was my pleasure ending your days with you! You shall be missed. And maybe you can survive a tiny bit longer so I can get out of this heat? Pretty please?
Beat. Mickey looks at Hope in awe.
MICKEY: How do you do that?
HOPE: Do what?
MICKEY: Switch up like that? Change your mood....like instantly.
HOPE: I don't know, I just...do.
MICKEY: Not me. I hold on to things too much...like if I wake up on the wrong side...I stay wrong ALL DAY.
MICKEY: Say what?
HOPE: CBD can help with that.
MICKEY: I don't do drugs. Just alcohol. It's my vice.
HOPE: CBD is harmless. It's pure. It's natural.
MICKEY: So is alcohol.
HOPE: Yeah that's not true.
MICKEY: Tequila is from a plant. Wine is from grapes. Beer is a barley. Whiskey is a grain.
HOPE: I meant harmless. Alcohol is NOT harmless. Like, not one bit.
MICKEY: Okay, whatever.
HOPE: Look, I'm just saying...
MICKEY: Got it! You're just saying 'alcohol is bad for you, take years off of your life, eats up your liver, blah blah blah' I heard it all before...
HOPE: It's fine, we all have vices.
MICKEY: Yeah? Well my vice is alcohol and I'm not giving it up!
HOPE: Did I push a button? Sorry, it wasn't my intention.
MICKEY: It's fine! Nothing was pushed! I'm "just saying" alcohol is natural too. Correcting you on that. Treating women equally. So if you make a mistake, I say it. Like fighting for justice, for alcohol's sake.
HOPE: Fighting for justice. In the sake of equality and...alcohol?
MICKEY: That's right.
HOPE: Okay. I appreciate your FEMINIST agenda and thank you for mansplaining what alcohol is. I had NO idea what it was until you elevated my brain cells with all that useful information!
MICKEY: Hey, what are you getting all mad about!?
MICKEY: (To the audience)
And there it was. Our first fight. It came a little faster than expected. But my old man always said you gotta see how someone fights with you when you meet them. Like, it's a test. If they're game to fight with you, then they're game to talk to you. Like, truthfully. It's an extreme method, and doesn't always work, but here....in this moment...with this angel I couldn't figure out, it felt right.
Mickey goes back to a STARING MATCH with Hope.
MICKEY: You sure LOOK mad.
HOPE: Am NOT.
MICKEY: Am TOO.
HOPE: I SAID I'M NOT!
MICKEY: WELL I AM!
HOPE: (To the audience)
And then, maybe it was the blasting heat or the adrenaline from the fire, or the fear that he would kill me. Or maybe it was the sweat on his chest. But I had to, just had to... hold on. Better show than tell:
MICKEY: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
HOPE: FOR YOU DUMMY!
MICKEY: WHO YOU CALLING DUMMY? THE WORD's DYSLEXIC.
HOPE: OH THANKS FOR CLARIFYING!
MICKEY: YOU'RE WELCOME!
MICKEY: FUCK YEAH!
And in unison, Hope and Mickey leap on to each other for a passionate as-hot-as-it-gets type of a KISS.
To Be Continued...
Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog that may, or may not be, of any significance to anyone other than herself. If you found her lil' life lessons, stories, poems and blurbs meaningful to you, well that's f**ing amazing! Comment and share so she can pat herself in the back - she doesn't do that nearly enough. Cheers.