You know it. I'll bet my crypto virtual money that you know it.
And by 'know it' I mean you know it intimately, you practice it occasionally, you, my friend, self sabotage. Maybe you often show up late to important meetings because 'traffic' or whatever other excuse you cook up. Maybe you constantly choose relationships that you know are unattainable or unhealthy. Maybe you say the wrong thing, like ALWAYS, at the WORST times. Maybe you don't work out, or eat healthy. Maybe you smoke, maybe you gamble, maybe you cheat.
Maybe - like me - you wait until 1:52 am when your brain is mush and your body is already in sleep mode to do your daily writing and the entire time you beat yourself up for not stepping up to the plate earlier in the day when you could actually FUNCTION. Maybe.
Self sabotage is a self inflicted wound, a self prescribed poison, a self directed hate. Do you see the common thread here...!? SELF sabotage is.... SELFISH. And us humans, especially in the western society that glorifies individuality (I mean it's the SELFIE age for f**k sake) are self-centered and even a self directed pity party is in some ways a narcissistic act.
BUT we are human, and that means we are flawed and raw and often very much mistaken, so being kind to ourselves, even to our pity parties, is crucial.
So tonight, as I am writing these words at 2:03am and my eyes are half closed already... I am going to be kind to myself and to my undeniably human self sabotage.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman