Lessons I Teach Myself
Lessons I Teach Myself
Hope is holding on to her head, thinking...
HOPE: (to the audience) You know that bizarre feeling when someone sees right through you? That's what he is doing right now. Mickey - or whatever his name is - is seeing THROUGH me. As if he was IN my body. Twirling around my veins and blood vessels. Teasing my beating heart. knocking on my mind, banging around in there. Nagging me to death. It's giving me a migraine. HE is giving me a migraine! I gotta... gotta get out of this place. I think the heat is getting to me. HE is getting to me. If I could only escape this moment a tad longer...
And just then, a flamboyant BURNER type dressed in a unicorn costume passes by.
HOPE: (to the audience) I must be imagining still.
(to the burner)
Excuse me, are you a figment of my imagination?
HOPE: Depends on what?
BURNER: If you'd want me to be.
HOPE: I don't know what I want.
BURNER: That's pretty obvious girlie. What's less obvious is why would you create me to state the obvious?
HOPE: Well OBVIOUSLY I am not very sophisticated.
HOPE: Not to mention I am not the most original. I mean... a unicorn?
BURNER: It's a symbol of purity.
HOPE: Okay so now I am not sophisticated, not original, AND in major denial about my sexual past!? What is happening? Really. If you are here to send me a message from my self to myself.... get on with it okay? I got places to be and people to see.
BURNER: You mean you are going to Burning Man after you got kicked out of your apartment because you didn't pay the rent for three months.
HOPE: I didn't pay the rent because...
BURNER: Because your landlord is a douche. I know.
HOPE: He's the scum of the earth.
BURNER: Yeah. But he's a scum with a place to live. You? You are literally living in a crappy ice cream truck in the middle of the desert and about to let some weirdo see your sorry ass life. And you are freaked out about it 'cause you actually like this guy, so instead of getting to know him or worse - GETTING HIM TO KNOW YOU - you are talking to an imaginary unicorn who looks like a homemade craft diy project some fourth grader made. Jesus christ, couldn't you have at least given me some wings!?
HOPE: Woah. Tell me how you really feel.
BURNER: I'm telling you how YOU really feel.
BURNER: Now excuse me while I go back to the ethers of your soul.
The burner rides his way off the stage.
HOPE: (to the audience) I must be dehydrated.
MICKEY: (to the audience) Look at her. The angel of my life... thinking. She looks so....hot. And smart. She's WAY out of my league. Thing about me is I may be a fuck up, but I know to count my lucky cards when I see 'em. Not sure what I did to deserve this beauty, but I don't plan to fuck it up. I gotta stay cool. Stay cool like ice cream I wish she had in that truck of hers. Purple glittery ice cream from the Gods!
HOPE: Okay I'm done thinking.
HOPE: I mean I am taking a break from thinking. It's too hard. My brain is overwhelmed. Did your... dog finish the rest of the water?
MICKEY: Looks like he did.
MICKEY: I think yes.
MICKEY: I got some Guinness. Would you like some?
HOPE: That is disgusting and yes please.
To be continued...
Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog that may, or may not be, of any significance to anyone other than herself. If you found her lil' life lessons, stories, poems and blurbs meaningful to you, well that's f**ing amazing! Comment and share so she can pat herself in the back - she doesn't do that nearly enough. Cheers.