Take a breather, a chill pill, something, anything...
You attacked me like a rocket and I'm suddenly completely at your mercy, with all the STRESS associated with you: the impatience, irritation, heart pumping fast, pure overwhelm, feeling like I have to chase chase chase and never get anywhere.
You're a tough pill to swallow, dear Stress.
I'd like to treat you with respect, empathy and patience, like the 'bigger person' that I am, but to be honest - I have no idea how to do that. Because when you run through my veins I am filled with, well, STRESS, and while I seem productive to the naked eye.... in a closer look - you weigh on me like a bulldozer and drain every ounce of emotional capability to handle you. You're a catch 22, dear Stress, because when I feel you. -I am then not capable to deal with you whatsoever. And then we find ourselves in some toxic loop, until I crack and break down and finally allow myself to give me some ME TIME, some self care, some relaxation. All the tools that scare you away. Until the next time you show up, of course.
Dear Stress, I want to learn to live with you. PEACEFULLY. To accept that you will likely overwhelm me every so often, but that your intention is to 'think of the worst case scenario', to protect me, to keep me in deadlines. It starts here, it starts now, it starts with me making an effort to really look at you. To look at you deeply and say: I don't need you.
I don't need you.
I don't need you.
And to be ready and willing to ask the question: 'who am I without my stress?'
Who am I without you, dear Stress?
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman