I first learned your name from Steven Pressfield, in his fantastic book 'The War Of Art.' He wrote about you in detail, and as I devoured his pages -- I learned YOU had a name.
But I have known you long before I knew your name.
You have always been that crippling feeling in the stomach, the feeling that keeps me from going where I don't want to go. Like food swimming in my stomach, battling with my insides, refusing to be digested.
I let you win me over many MANY times, Resistance.
A simple hint at your presence makes me veer away into the nearby distraction, to no go deeper in my work, god forbid not to feel the sad feelings that you rather protect me from. Like the mind, you Resistance, think of yourself as my loving protector. But I'd say you are more like my tough shield, my armor, my guard. And no energy flows when one is covered in armor. No energy flows when YOU are guarding my heart.
Resistance, you are like a general who screams at me "turn away! Do not go forward into the night, into the unknown of your creations!" You want to keep me safe -- while I am a passionate young soldier eager to find what's at the horizon - what mysteries I'll find. What truths I'll tell. What stories I'll craft.
Dear Resistance, I understand you try to keep me from being heart broken, and afraid, and lost and angry. But the life of an artist is the life of a human. A human who lives FULLY - fully expeiencing all those things you'd like to keep me safe from. The life of an artist is dipping into the night, the unknown, with no shelter, no armor, no general yelling at me to turn away.
In other eras in time -- They used to kill us artists. Like witches, we'd be burnt at the stake.
Did they kill us because we built the stamina to face YOU, Resistance?
This letter isn't to scold you for doing your thing.
I respect that you challenge me. I even appreciate that you fight me in my quest to go deeper into the rabbit hole of my art, of my existence, of my calling. And I love how you try to block me from finding out new horizons in my work. Because every time you and I meet - you drive me further into my endurance, into my discovery, into my courage to live fully with no armor, with no blocks, and with no resistance.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman