Oh, we meet again.
We meet again and I am fuming.
We meet again, and WE are fuming.
If I was an animated character - I would have smoke coming from my nostrils right now.
And maybe I'd also be shooting fire from my eyes. Dragon eyes, for sure. That's what you do to me, Rage! You spin me right outside myself, you are an outer-body experience, you are the adrenaline that burns through my veins when I see and FEEL injustice, when I am fed up with the world's WRONGS, or when I simply have too much pain and YOU, my dear Rage, protects me from it. Sometimes, you are the reckless, impulsive, blatant GUARD of my heart, of my deep wounds and sorrow. We all need a protector, and sometimes, dear Rage, it is YOU that protects me.
But you do more than just protect. You help me express. You help me feel. You help me go to the core of my feelings and spit them out. BUT.... dear Rage... do you HAVE to show up in such a volatile way??? Do you have to take me (and, um, everyone surrounding me) to a world wind spin? Do you HAVE to shoot fire out of my eye-balls??
Maybe you do. I honestly don't know.
I don't know because you never really communicate in coherent terms. You mostly blurt out curse words and shout your way to existence. It is.... exhausting. It is draining. And it is also - liberating. Truth is - it feels good to be in your presence. It is freeing.
Thank you for your protection, expression, and liberation. Just... breathe a little here and there. And don't take yourself out on anyone... okay??
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman