Lessons I Teach Myself
Lessons I Teach Myself
We rarely meet, you and I.
Usually darling lil' FEAR comes along and pulls me away from you.
And you turn in defiance and walk away. When that happens, I can tell you are a bit...ENRAGED, and want to be in my company more often. But for some reason fear beats you down, almost every time.
Today you and I met and it was glorious.
It was the kind of encounter that involves screaming into a pillow so no one will hear us in our element.
It was the kind of encounter that left a frown on my forehead - a wrinkle that may last for years to come.
It was the kind of encounter that tensed my body up so much, that even an hour of cardio workout didn't seem to do a thing to relax my nerves.
I was in you today. I was in RAGE. And you, Rage, were in me.
I am STILL feeling you tickling my insides, shaking me to my core, rattling my heart.
It may take more than a day for you to walk away this time. Injustice does this to us, Rage.
It makes you speed up to devour me, and then together we gush in agony that it's NOT FUCKING FAIR, and that it's WRONG, And someone IS TO BLAME.
Later, Rage, when you will walk away, Sadness will come and greet me.
She will help me recover from our intense encounter. I will calm down, and maybe shed a tear or two. My lava red complexion will brighten up a bit and return to its usual paleness.
I don't wish to hurt your feelings, dear Rage, but I will be relieved when you are gone.
You see, I am not so comfortable being in you, yet. It hurts to be ENRAGED. It hurts.
But at times, I know, it's necessary. YOU are necessary Rage, and I appreciate you.
And sure, I will sleep peacefully again. And I will feel some joy again, and play, and wonder and be marry.... But thanks to you, I was made aware today of an injustice that got my blood boiling so much so, that it has driven me into action. Sure, injustices happen every day, I know, but not every day you and I march in protest of its existence.
So thank you, Rage, for shedding a light on things that matter.
For making me understand that I can do something, that I oughta do something.
For allowing me to see that the opposite of injustice isn't justice - it's LOVE.
*Today, my Rage showed for George Floyd.
A man who DIED in the hands of racism, of hate, of ignorance, of abuse of power, of murder.
Remember his name. Say his name. SCREAM his name. And not into a pillow, but rather to all those who are for some reason NOT outraged over his tragic death.
Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog that may, or may not be, of any significance to anyone other than herself. If you found her lil' life lessons, stories, poems and blurbs meaningful to you, well that's f**ing amazing! Comment and share so she can pat herself in the back - she doesn't do that nearly enough. Cheers.