When you and I were younger, I held you close to my vest.
Not just literally, duh, but also figuratively. You were mine and mine alone.
I held you close, guarded, protected, safe, and no one was to enter you. No one was to see you whole. My writings were the only ones that got to know you, back then.
You may have been lonely, all those years. But you never complained.
You simply waited for me to introduce you to others, to open you up to the world.
I started, little by little, and before I knew it - you were open.
A open Heart.
But every once in a while, my tendency to hold you near - comes back.
My need to protect you and shelter you - returns.
My shield hovers firmly surrounding you.
I am no stranger to the opening and the closing of you.
Much like breathing - you open, and then you close. You open, and then... you close. And the cycle continues. And continues. And continues again...
Every hurt, every rejection, every judgement that comes my way - I go to your defense instantly. I don't always make it on time.... you have some scratches and bruises as a result. But you are grand and whole and beautiful as you are... and the more I open you up - I see that you are limitless in your size. You are infinite in your strength. You don't need my small limited by the human body protection.
You probably giggle to yourself when I put my armor around you. You giggle because you know that you are penetrable regarding of the layers I would put around you. You, my dear Heart, are NOT limited by the bounds of your body. You are NO body. You are EVERY body.
So, thank you Heart. For showing me that you are not the one in need of protection.
In fact - you ARE protection itself. And every beat of yours echos that.
So the next time I'll face rejection, or hurt, or pain... I will not rush to hide you. I will reach to feel your beat, to feel your protection and together - we'll be boundless.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman