We don't often get together, you and I.
But when we do? It's fireworks. Steamy, fiery and swift... right down to the abyss.
Our encounter is like a portal entry into a chaos of emotions that make me well aware of how much Expectation plays a role in my life.
You, and little miss expectation, are intertwined.
Sometimes you let her go off and fulfill her destiny the way I envision it. Other times? You lead her just enough to completely overtake me with her fantasy and illusion, and then you show up with your 'Told ya so' attitude and punch me in the face.
And you hurt, Disappointment. Like, you really hurt.
Can't you please show up a little kinder and earlier...? Like, 'um sorry, please, you may want to think this through girl, it may not go as you planned....' Or like 'Hey, don't keep your hopes up, hint hint!'
But no, you show up like 'GOTCHA! Now fall with me to the darkness you pathetic little dreamer!'
Can't you be a little KINDER Disappointment? A tiny bit? A teeny weeny little kindness when you rob my grandiose world of fantasy?!?!?
You have won again and crawled back to your hiding spot, gloating that you 'got me' once again.
Owned me like I was a fly on your big wild web.
I must learn to let you go.
But if it means I have to let my favorite little Miss Expectation go.... then no wonder it's a tough task for me.
Genuinely hoping never to meet you again,
P.S. FUCK YOU! (yes, I said it... I should probably write a letter to Anger now...oops.)
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman