Once upon a time, you were a close friend of mine.
I didn't appreciate you when you were around. Even took you for granted. Assumed you'd always be there. And maybe that's why you decided to drift away with the years, with the happenings... drift away and tease me from afar.
I see you there, at a distance, I can almost reach you.... and then I find myself in limbo again, reminiscing on how things were easier when you were around. Things were clear. Things were known.
Now, without you, I am aching for the young and fearless gal I used to be with you by my side. The one that had do much of you - that she moved across the world in search of a new identity, a new world to call her own. With you by her side, you helped that little old me act towards each and every one of her goals. She didn't even need to name them with you around. They were known to you and therefore easy to her. You two were a winning team. You and I were a winning team. But alas... we are now far apart, and as time goes my hesitation grows and your teasing echoes louder and louder... but it is hard to hear you amidst the beat of my hesitant and fearful heart.
Oh, I long for your company again... to caress me, lead me gently and surely to wherever I aspire to go, to guide me towards tough decisions as if they were the simplest ones. Oh, how I long for thee again, dear Decisiveness.
Please come back and take me from my limbo misery...
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman