I used to think you were something different than what you are.
I used to think you were brash, and loud, and walked with stride. That you were the center of attention. That you wanted to be heard from every rooftop and in every alley.
I used to think you were hard to reach. That I would have to 'fake' you, in order to 'become' you.
But now I know: You are none of those things. You, dear Confidence, are a small light that lights up deep in the stomach. You're a root of knowing that comes from somewhere inside me, and you are just there, at peace and ease with yourself.
You don't need to showcase your presence. You don't need to announce your arrival. You don't need to raise your voice, in order to be heard.
No, your voice carries loudly even in the softest whisper. Because it comes from the root of all things: the heart.
Confidence, you are a knowing that anchors me to who I am, and NOT who I want the world to think me to be.
You and I mingle most, when I am in flow. It is your happy place, indeed. And mine as well. Together we waltz and forget the time, lost in our endeavor, bound to our creative flow. That is when your truest form appears to me. Without the veil of my "idea" of you.
A picture in a Magazine of what you are, or something. But the only picture I can truly make of you is how you feel when you are inside of me.
And you feel like ease. You feel like the ground. You feel like truth.
Thank you, dear Confidence, for residing in me.
You make me truer.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman