Boy, you are EXHAUSTING.
Do you have to show up and take my body on a tension-filled rollercoaster!? My jaw, fist, teeth tighten when you are here. My heart beats fast, and loud, and my eyes seem to want to spring out of their sockets.
And my voice screeches like a cat in heat. Anger, you are raw. You are wild. You are untamed.
And when you are near, I am at your mercy. I am at your disposal. I am your... bitch.
Some choose to tuck you deep under. Choose to pretend you are not there at all. While others are completely enamored with you, and are never able to manage you. They shift into resentment - self directed anger, or even some pivot into violence, aggression and rage.
When you come to see me, dear Anger, you are usually accompanied by an intense sense of focus.
I stare at someone with my eyes out of their sockets, and screech with my most cat-in-heat voice.
I get focused, directed, determined and oh so angry.
Other times you meet me with an impressive sense of righteousness. A cause. A calling. A chance to fix a wrong. A purpose. This version of you is much more pleasant to experience. This version of you is you with a shit-load-of make-up. This is you all covered up.
And when you show up naked in your birthday suit, I know that the only way to tend to you, and to calm you, is by being IN you. Feel what you ache for me to feel. Say the words you long to say. And when I'm with you, fully, deeply, simply - you are then accompanied by a dear friend: sadness. pain. hurt.
They are always there with you, aren't they, Anger?
You are simply theirs. Their driver. Their guide. Their twin flame.
You are simply a vessel to pain. I peel you and see IT. You are pain's protector. You are MY pain's protector.
Thank you, my dear pain protector. Roam free and release yourself from your own chains...
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman