When I was in fifth grade, I was picked on a lot by this one boy.... let's call him "Daniel."
Daniel was the classic trouble maker. He'd never done serious harm, but he disrupted every class and every social gathering. Oh, what WOULDN'T he do for attention. And attention he got as the 'bad' kid in school.
I wasn't the only one that got picked up by him, but I was one of Daniel's favorites.
Years later, I learned he had a crush on me. He bothered me non-stop in order to get my attention. Any attention was an act of love for him. Years later, I now understand what a sad home he must have come from. Sad, neglecting, lonely home. Being a trouble make in school was his way to 'be somebody' since he was so unseen in his home life.
I think of Daniel now, and I can't help but feel sad for him. Sad for the kid that craved love so much. 'Cause you only crave what you dob't have.' But then I also remember the kid that I was. A kid that had nothing to do with Daniel's sad home life (I had my own sad home life to think about...) and didn't deserve to be bullied, to be ridiculed, mocked, even scratched at some feud. Why should my inner little girl pay for the wound of another kid!? Why should she? And why years later... I still think more of that poor bullish kid, and not my very own self.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman