Late Night Humor

It's late, and I procrastinated all day and now I'm at that half-asleep delicious delirious stage. So let me HUMOR you with a few absurd marketing suggestions for real or fictitious brands...:

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'Lazy girl skin care routine:
Grab your windex and wipe the mirror. 
Breezy, beautiful, lazygirl.'

​'When you want to build your tolerance back after Amazon one-day-shipping has made you spoiled and forever paying Jeff Bezos. FEDEX - makes shipping horrible again.'
(P.S. Where's my package???)

​'HELLO TUSHY.
Because let's face it - we all want clean and happy bums and Japanese toilets are just wayyyyy too expensive.'