Inner Troubles

BELLY: OUUUUU!
HEART: Help! My belly hurts! Is it because of you, Gut?
GUT: Not me. You must have eaten something bad. 
HEART: Yeah? What... what can it be... I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. I don't think I did.... Are you sure about that, Gut?
SOUL: Girl, if your gut is telling you you ate something bad - LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. After all -- it's always right. 
BRAIN: Well, technically speaking, a smaller version of me is in the gut, so that makes US always right. 
EGO: Woah, Brain are you stealing my thunder!? Sit your butt down. If anyone is right about anything - that shall be me. 
(beat)
What's going on here, earthlings?
BELLY: OUUU! OUUUUU!
HEART: She's really hurting, I can feel her.
SOUL: Yes, but 'what IS pain, anyway?' Is it a feeling, or is it a label... what is pain prior to the word 'pain'..?
HEART: I appreciate the poetic take, Soul. Bur her pain is REAL.
BELLY: OUUU OUUU OUUUUUUUU!
BRAIN: In its literal form, PAIN is a physical discomfort caused by an injury or illness.
EGO: I've had injuries, here and there. I bruise pretty easily. I'm very good at bruising. The best, actually.
HEART: Is bruising a good thing? If I bruise too much I can BREAK!
EGO: It's good to me. Everything is good to me.
SOUL: 'Everything is nothing', my friend. Everything is no--
EGO: Look at you, Soul, thinking you know EVERYTHING!
SOUL: Ah-ha! But if I know everything, then I know NOTHING!
HEART: I am CONFUSED! 
BRAIN: And I have a HEADACHE!
BELLY: And OUUUUUUU OUUUUU OUUUUU!!!
NERVOUS SYSTEM: Um, excuse me? Can you keep your voices down? It's making me so anxious... and when I am anxious, Belly - you will hurt even more, Heart - you will beat extra fast, Brain - will go down the negative thinking route, Soul - you will try to be heard so much, but none of us will hear you because we'll be anxious, and Ego - you will try to compensate for your anxiety by being overly ego-maniacal.
So, take a chill pill, and zip it, please. Pretty please. 

And just like that, at last: Silence.