In my dreams, I chase happiness.
I hold one of those nets to catch butterflies with, and every inch of happiness that floats by... I snag it! I grasp it! I hold on to it for dear life! That elusive creature wants to roam free, but when she is caught in my net, I am in charge. I am the commander in chief. I own evert inch of her.
When I awake, I wouldn't recognize happiness if I saw it. The only holding on I do is trying to hold onto the dream of chasing happiness just a tad longer.
In the in between space is where I live. That is my most comforting of homes. That is where I can hold on to the chase while look forward to the stark reality that there is nothing to chase. Because anything that moves away from you is just the currant doing its thing. Happiness isn't 'elusive'. She's no 'floater.' She isn't something to catch. She is just her authentic self, whether you choose to spend time in her presence, or not. She is that twinkle in your eye when the little things happen and remind you that none of it matters. And all of it matters. And also - a whole lot of hapinness rests in between.
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman