I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm late!

​Is there an expiration date to this bizarre era!? 

Some days (yup, this included), feel like they've been sucked into a time loop. A time warp. A black hole. 

I have adapted to the absence of normality. I actually find it rather refreshing.

You see, 'Normal' has never been a friend of mine... I've stayed away from anything normal as if it was the black plague. Well, at least I'd like to think so. Comparatively, I may be more normal than most, actually. (Shhh...don't tell my ego, she won't like it!)

But the unknown time stamp on this Covid-19 reality we're living, is what challenges me most. 
My life, in some ways, is simply on hold right now. And that is incredibly uncomfortable to me. (Yes, I know I should be a million times grateful for the privilege of experiencing this horrible time merely as 'hold.')

The illusion of time, is the one I'm trying to hold on to the most these days. 
Perhaps it's because I fear my own decay.
Perhaps it's because I fear the loss of my loved ones.
Perhaps it's because I always feel like time is running away from me, and there is so much to do still...
Perhaps it's the lesson of patience that I have yet to learn.
Perhaps it's an excuse, a distraction that keeps me from being 'in the moment' doing whatever the fuck I want to on any given moment, because what's the point of anything else!? 
Perhaps it's an inner voice, my personal drive that pushes me forward to fulfill more area in my potential. 
Perhaps it's because it's not an illusion at all... time is one of our only concepts that is NOT a made-up human story. (...Or is it?!)

Who knows? Not I, that's for sure.
​
My relationship with TIME, is an enigma. A mysterious riddle I haven't yet solved. A love & hate saga that is packed with confusion. A party that I seem to always be LATE to.
Oh, time. What art thou?