Lessons I Teach Myself
Lessons I Teach Myself
Back at our dream sequence wedding ceremony...
HOPE: Yeah this is wild. I mean, I don't even believe in marriage. Or God. And now? Look at this.
MICKEY: It's dreamy.
HOPE: Like literally.
MICKEY: And figuratively.
BURNER: Okay okay we get it, you are in love! woohoo! Good for you. Now let's get this thing going all right? I got other dreams to crash today. And some to crush. Parents! Where are the parents!?
HOPE: No way I would invite mine. Even in a dream.
MICKEY: No? Too bad. I'd love to meet the people that made you.
HOPE: No you won't.
MICKEY: I bet they're special.
HOPE: Yeah, no. They're not.
BURNER: Uh-oh girl, you didn't tell him didn't you.
MICKEY: Tell me what?
HOPE: So what if I didn't? Can't I have some secrets left God dammit!
BURNER: Hey I'm right here.
HOPE: Yeah, sorry. No disrespect. Look can we just keep going?
BURNER: Oh girl. Always Go Go Go but never really here. I can relate, believe me. But we gotta sort out the parents thing if we want this train to get to its final stop.
MICKEY: I got parents! I mean, I DID. At some point. They are both deceased so I don't know if ghosts get invitations to these things?
BURNER: Yeah, would be groovy. But no can do. Can't have both God AND ghosts. Too much stimulus on the subconscious ya know?
BURNER: Yeah this may be a shocker to you all but I'm a big psychology buff. And evolution. Pretty much ALL science. I dig it. All that nonsense of me being against all that is just.... so medieval century. Anyways, our bride here needs someone to send her off. It's a tradition perhaps a bit dated...
HOPE: And sexist.
BURNER:...but it's your dream. I don't make the rules.
BURNER: So, let's get your father here to send you off and we can get this show on the road!
Hope crosses her arms and takes a step back.
HOPE: No way. This is bullshit. This isn't a dream, it's a fucking nightmare! I'm so over this. I wanna wake up. I wanna wake up. I wanna wake up!
MICKEY: HEY! Look at me, I'm right here.
HOPE: Leave me alone! I wanna wake up and get the fuck out of the desert!
BURNER: No one's stopping you.
HOPE: Okay, well, I'm out of here! What's the way? Can someone tell me the way? GOD, you're fucking GOD aren't you. Can you show me the way for fuck sake!?
BURNER: Girl, you already know. The only way out is through.
Hope slurps down to the ground and cries. Mickey lowers and holds her in his arms.
MICKEY: Hey hey hey.... shhhh... I'm here, I'm right here.
HOPE: You wanna know where I'm from? I'm from a trailer park in Montana. My family was not just poor, nothing wrong with poor. When you're poor you can only get UN-poor, so that's not so bad. But what WAS bad, is that my... my dad is a fucking psycho, okay? He's in prison for life without parole. In San Quentin. And you know what? I'm the one who put him there. I did. He killed my mom right in front of me. And I stood there in court and pointed to him. He got a life sentence thanks to my testimony. And yeah he fucking deserved it, but that doesn't change the fact that he's my father. And the sad thing... like the saddest thing? I don't miss my mom. She was always tired. Always unhappy. She was dead before she died. I don't miss her at all. It's my dad that I actually miss. So don't feel sorry for me or anything because I don't fucking deserve it.
To be continued...
Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog that may, or may not be, of any significance to anyone other than herself. If you found her lil' life lessons, stories, poems and blurbs meaningful to you, well that's f**ing amazing! Comment and share so she can pat herself in the back - she doesn't do that nearly enough. Cheers.