I have been cheating on you.
Yes, it's true. I have to come out and admit it.... I have been writing elsewhere.
You see... that notebook stole my attention. She teased me with those bedroom eyes of hers, whispered to me 'I'm yours'....pick me up...FILL me...' first thing in the mornings, randomly in the afternoons, and before I go to sleep at night. I simply couldn't resist her lush paper-thin pages, the pinch in my fingers as I pressed upon the pen, the scent of ink plastered all over her body. She is irresistible in her charm. She's primary to me, you see? She was there long before I met you. She was there when I was just learning to write. She was there in school with me, she was there in my secret diary, she was there through my first break-up, she was there in my calendar, she was there in my letters. She was there all the time. And she was there first.
How must she had felt when I put her aside, little by little, page by page...and replaced her with a stone-cold looking mouse, monstrous keyboards, and a highly intelligent but evil phone....? What was it like for her as she sat there, patiently waiting, looking at me with 'puppy eyes', wondering where I had gone....? I left her then. Not for good...but still, I left. The new world of machinery was hotter, wilder, smoother....so I got up and LEFT.
But as the ego-less beauty that she is....she waited for me. Patient. Supportive. Loving me from afar...
Finally, I caved. I couldn't resist her unconditional hold on me. What can I say, I am human after all.
You must be upset.
I am sorry.
Truly, I really am.
I bet you want to jump on me with accusations, and guilt trip, and rage.... I hear you.
I deserve all that. I do.
But... before you get all jealous and territorial here... maybe we could all work together now...?
You, me, her. We could have our very own mé·nage à trois.... What do you say...?
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman