Chapter 9: Adulting

Productivity is my drug. My dependent. My dopamine.
Checking off my to-do list is my Oh-Oh-OHHHH orgasm. 
Getting shit done makes me feel hot. Horny. Hellish. 

In my 20s I went clubbing, fucked, snorted, smoked, got wasted, got lost.... and in my 30s here I am researching 'which calendar is the best calendar for 2022!?' Buying organizational gadgets like they are crack. Choosing to stay home on my night off. Any night off. Baking banana bread because the internet told me to. Watching a lecture on philosophy on youtube because that's my idea of a good time now. 
Adulting. Adulting is a process one has no control on. It just suddenly happens. And one then is flabbergasted by where did the years go... oh, adulting. It is a bitch but also not as bad as you thought it was going to be, but also far far more dreadful, but also not as much, but also exactly how much, but also not... but also yes.
In my 20s I lived in my dreams. Now I make my reality of laundry, errands, insurance, meetings, voicemails, tasks, chores, deadlines... a dream. Adulting is turning our reality into a DREAM.