DARE
(verb)

*Have the courage to do something
*Defy or challenge (someone) to do something.
*Take the risk of; brave.

(noun)

*A challenge, especially to prove courage.
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I DARE you to DARE. 
Dare to dream. And be the driver of your trip 
Dare to believe, because no one else will. Even your loudest supporters have their own dreams to dare. 
Dare to care. Not just about people you care about. Dare to care for you. For your inner you. For your sacred you. For that un-daring wounded child in you.

The human cat is a cat that does not care about the outside world, other than for the sheet FEAR of having to face it with every vetrinary visit. The human cat does not scold at the thought of being caressed by a human person. In fact, the human cat obsesses with the human touch, even to the point of closing its eyes instantly and producing a strange vibrational sound some refer to with the odd labeling of 'purring.' The human cat views a human LAP as its thrown and will be vocal with its tiny cords to the point of persuading even the most stubborn of human person to offer a seat on the so-called lap-throne. The human cat likes to chat, and talk, and converse on many occasions and without any particular reason. It does not ask for a thing other than to be heard. Since after all, it is a HUMAN cat. The human cat enjoys drinking water out of its hand and not by the barbaric animalistic ways of some other lesser human kind of cats who filthily drink water directly off their tongues. The human cat eats only what she likes. And will remind you of that fact in any given moment. The human cat gets what she wants, but that is solely because she is a CAT. Her human mirroring aspects simply have nothing to do with her ability to have her way be known and her way achieved. The human cat enjoys sleeping on a bed, preferably with a plush pillow and a down blanket, just like any human person would. And if a human person would be by her side, well, she'd be delighted and may even surrender all of her human cat weight onto the human person's body. Be it a thing they like... or a thing they don't. The human cat prefers its royal toilet be cleaned daily, with extra points for immediate clean-up after use. She is a human cat and considers herself of the Japanese kind so respect to her behinds is of upmost importance. The human cat speaks in her human ways, using her large human cat eyes which she directly uses to hypnotize the human person to be her obedient staff or shall we even say SLAVE. The human cat lives a glamorous life, which mostly consists of getting her way and long hours pondering on the meaning of life while staring out the window at the blowing of the leaves. The human cat gets bored like any human person would, and so she drifts into long hours of napping, which is her favorite hobby and what helps fuel her human-cat ways. The human cat doesn't see a 2D world as projected in screens around her human house, as she only lives in a 3D world and will comply ONLY with living, breathing 3D human persons. The human cat will tolerate a lesser human cat. She will even mentor the ordinary more animalistic cat, but make no mistake: the human cat does not associate herself with those kinds. She is, after all, a human cat. 

Connect the dots.
Line by line.
Move by move.
Action by action.
Tear by tear.
Another face. Another hand. Another persona tickling my insides.
Who is she? This persona.
Is it a SHE, a HE, a THEY, an IT? Is it a THING at all? Is it a THINK at all?
The invention of words is the gift that keeps on taking. It takes the absence of meaning. It takes the floodgates of possibility. Knowing what someone IS, alters it, changes it, takes it. To exist in the beginner's mind, like a baby learning how to walk, how to talk, how to ask, how to feel. NO - we don't learn how to feel. We learn how to mask our feeling. How to turn away from our feelings. It is the curse of life - the learning. How to unlearn is the task at hand, how to unlearn is the goal. Unlearning what is learned - is being born again. Is sliding out of the warm womb, in a tube, holding our breath and lashing out into the dots we must connect in order to survive.
But truth is - the beginner's mind is the beginner's lack of mind.
​The mind's delay in sifting itself into the body. Sure, it's a protector but where one protects one may imprison. The prison of our mind is what we learn. The mind is a VERY good student, it's a straight A student, and a goal setter, eager to reach level of expertise. The expertise of controlling one's feelings, one's heart, one's safety. Creative unsafety is getting out of the womb faster than the mind. Racing it and WINNING the race, for a rare occasion. 
Oh, thoughts. You are incredible little vessels of truth. Who am I without you? 
I AM without you. I AM. Just AM. AM. A..... 
Oh, thoughts. Helping me, shielding me, connecting me, separating me all at once. 
Because nothing is ever one thing. Nothing is = everything. 

Hello. 
Hello to body. Hello to self. Hello to dreams and lingered memories. Hello to peaceful stares at the sunset dimming over the pacific ocean. Hello to ice creams in waffle cones. Hello to typing, and feeling, and moving my fingers at the speed of light. Hello to time sending a message. Hello to the little person drumming on my heart. Hello to feelings of worry, of angst, of drama, of sadness, or despair. Hello to self in all its misery. Hello to love in princess crown. Hello to desire in her red lush feathery self. Hello to political debates and fiery feuds about the state of society. About dictatorships. About democracies. About everything that lies in between. Hello to jokes and even the fart jokes that I can't stand. Hello to eye rolls. And judgements. And self-hate. And self-beating. And self-questioning. And self-curiosity. Hello to CURIOSITY. Oh, hello to you darling. And to you little red cells. And to blood showing like an enigma in an ultrasound. And to breath. Hello to breath. Hello to breathing on another human's body. Hello to flipping pancakes. Hello to breakfasts. Hello to families. Hello to change. Hello to change. Hello to change.

Solstice
(noun)

* The time or date (twice each year) at which the sun reaches its maximum or minimum declination, marked by the longest and shortest days (about June 21 and December 22).

Winter Solstice has begun. And with it my quest for solitude has grown. It's not the snow on my windowpane or the sound of the wind, because, alas, there are no such things in a southern Californian December, but it rather a mysterious pull into the self.
Into once again go IN.
We are wired to protect ourselves in the wild, and we have gathered in caves in the oldest versions of ourselves, so what remained today - even to this Sunny California resident - is the quest to go IN. Meet with my inner life once again.
Connect. Reconnect. Get to know.
Withdraw from the outside silliness. From the pettiness of society's made-up rules and regulations. The ones who appear more and more on our phone screens, through  virtual insanity invented by some of our greatest minds.
The more I tap into the social arena of the status quo of our time - the Instagram, the Tiktok, The Twitter, The news... the more my inner self hides deeper within me, afraid to peek out. She is so wounded and fragile, and the perfection of the outside world shuts her down. That is its only quest. To numb her, in all her might. And perhaps this is why Winter Solstice is here. Right on time. To remind me and her - that we move in cycles. Just like breathing... In and out... in and out... and again. And again. And again... and now it's time to go IN.

Life has become a bit more complicated, a lot more hectic and whole lotta more social for me lately, and while I am relieved to see life returning and less Covid spreading, there are actually some things I miss from the slower, simpler, scarier 2020:

*No traffic. In Los Angeles, this was a major plus for the brave among us that decided to venture out into the world (with masks and distanced).

*The absence of small talks. Somehow the collective trauma we were experiencing got us to get closer to people even though we were separated and only the Gods of Zoom connected us. Now being back in live events and get togethers, I notice how small talks about the weather or this and that have re-surfaced. Even silly celebrity gossip has come back. I miss the absence of this silly fascination.... sigh...

*Puzzle boards. One of my favorite things is putting together a jigsaw puzzle, and I did quite a lot of that during 2020 as I spent so much time at home without a busy schedule. Somehow puzzles were replaced to me with social gatherings, games on my phone, and busy work and I miss the joy of building a giant jigsaw puzzle.

*Homemade food. Yes, I made banana bread like the rest of yous, but now that life has gotten so busy for me (even too busy to keep this daily blog, sigh...) I rely on ready-made meals to get my through the day. 

*Daily routine. I mean, I still have one, but I am much more flexible with it because, um, well, LIFE has become nuts and my celery juice and daily workouts have taken a step back. Even this daily blog suffered from my workaholism taking its front seat. But after a couple of months of letting myself immerse in the madness... I am back baby! Ready to figure out this 'work-life-balance thing once and for all. Routines should be sacred but also... they 'shouldn't' 'should' be anything. Flexibility is queen. 

*Connecting to family overseas. I've lived away from my family for many years, but the global pandemic brought us together somehow. Fro the first time in years, we were all experiencing nearly the same thing at the same time. Nowadays, I notice again how hard it is to keep in touch given the time difference and the busy 'life' that seemingly have taken over all of us. 
​
*Domestic bliss. In 2020, my partner and I watched the news together every night, pondering the state of the world, experiencing it together. Making a home for ourselves that no one could visit, but that became out entire world. I miss that. I miss us when there was no one else around and nothing else to do. 

Yours truly presents...:

This blog of mine has birthed many ideas. Many stories. Many characters. Many words. Many thoughts. Many blurbs. Many nonsenses. And one such idea has found its way beyond the pages of this blog and soon out into the world. My short story 'Rebel Rebel' was reimagined as a short film, and I had the privilege to bring it to life with brilliant cast and crew. This story as an homage to someone who left a mark on me. And what us artists and humans do is ponder on the question of 'leaving our marks', be it by having children and evolve as species, create art that'll hopefully last after we're gone, make a difference by lifting a loved one from a somber place to a possibility of change... leaving our marks on this world and on each other. We are a connecting animal. Being human means to connect to our environment be it outwardly or inwardly. We leave our marks by taking care of each other. Stories are a way for me to do exactly that. And soon 'Rebel Rebel' the short film will have its opportunity to leave a mark.
To know more about the film take a look here and to support our fundraising campaign, donate here.

PEACE
(noun)

*Freedom from disturbance; tranquility.
*A state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended.

Growing up in turbulent middle east, PEACE is a notion talked about again and again, and yet seems like an unattainable dream. An imagined reality simply too good to be true. Ironically, PEACE is also said again and again as both words in Hebrew and Arabic for HELLO also mean PEACE. But what's interesting to me in this definition above, is that FREEDOM is also a meaning of peace. The absence of peace keeps us caged in turbulence, in disturbance, in war. Be it outward or inward. Maybe this 'world peace' we long for can only start at home: INSIDE. Peace within us, in its most Zen tranquility. Inner peace. Freedom within. ​

What DISTANCE is
You are sitting next to me right now
But it would take a hundred light years
​To travel from my heart to you.