What drives you?
When you are on the engine, what gets you to spend hours, days, nights, and years achieving your goals, mastering your work, honing your craft. The grind, the hustle, the hard work towards a goal or with intent, the ambition to achieve, to accomplish, to master and finesse a craft or a job, the rush to go against all odds, the stamina to make the impossible possible, reaching new highs because let's face it - the sky is NO limit when you are driven. Those are all come hands in hands with being DRIVEN.
But what is it that drives you?
Some call it Grit.
Some call it Purpose.
To some, it is a Calling.
To others - the 'Why'
Sure, sometimes it is the limiting beliefs that drive us. Like the need for some of us to prove ourselves, or to make a name for ourselves, to be validated, to be the children our parents want us to be, to fit in the mold of society's expectations, to be seen, to 'be a contender!'
But when we tap into our purpose beyond our limited beliefs - we are driven in a different way. There is a different essence to be driven by a force of a calling, a purpose, a grit.
It took me a long time to understand what it is that drives me to spend hours on end embodying characters, people watching, analyzing the psychology of imaginary characters, going to the depths of the emotions of others so other others can feel something. As an actor and writer, or a storyteller as I prefer to call it - what I ultimately do and work in is the practice of EMPATHY. I have spent my whole life practicing the arts of embodying others and creating others - which is a great lesson in empathy. But Empathy is more than a lesson. It's an absolutely necessary tool, and to me - it's a purpose. It's a calling. It's my 'why.'
When I think 'what would make the world a better place' - I don't hesitate when I answer: 'If empathy would grow substantially. If people would see each other not as separate - but as themselves.'
The Mayans greet each other by saying 'Hello, myself.'
I always wonder - how does a society change when its inhabitants use empathy in the language like that? Or if the society highlights and prioritizes empathy and understanding? Or when parents teach their children a less comparative mindset like so many do in our over-achieving western society, and rather prioritize teaching how to grow in empathy and understanding at a young age? I don't know the answers for that. But I know somewhere deep in my gut... that if we understand each other, and if we feel what others feel - the world could be kinder, could be happier, could be wiser.
I'll end these thoughts on a late Thursday night, by greeting you all with:
Today I got a little treat for ya:
Fairy / Faerie
*A small imaginary being of human form that has magical powers, especially a female one.
~I don't know when was the first time I said to myself: 'Yeah, I'm a fairy in a human form. I'm a fairy y'all!' I mean, quite honestly - I don't wake up every day feeling like shouting that to the world. I'm more of the matter a fact - too cool for school kinda gal. But a FAIRY is an identity I am more than happy to wear every now and then. Don't get me wrong... Wendy rocks. But I've always been more of a Tinker belle type. Because hey - who doesn't want to fly around and spread magic everywhere!? Seriously - #goals.
Looking at this definition - I think I possess some magical powers, am fairly small in figure, and I am most definitely female. So take away the word 'imaginary' and give some freedom to your definition of 'magic' - and you'll see the fairy in me. Maybe - you'll also start seeing the fairies in others around you. Or maybe even in yourself. Many of us fairies are out there, floating around, running around doing a million things and trying to spread joy or talents or love everywhere we go. Look close - and maybe you'll see us. Maybe you ARE us.
All you gotta do - is believe in magic...~
Sing us a lullaby -
For the days that passed
And the ones that have left us
Who are asleep at last.
Sing us a lullaby -
For the tiresome helpers
Who despite the chaos
served as protectors.
Sing us a lullaby -
For the song that has died
And with it a dream
Of harmonious life.
Sing us a lullaby -
For the friends who are gone
And the love that we cherish
That we must carry on.
Sing us a lullaby -
That we shall always remember
One that pinches the heart
And will stay with us - forever.
*Today, there are recorded 2.48 million deaths worldwide due to the Covid 19 virus.
This poem is in memoriam to those millions of lives lost, their heroes and their loved ones.*
Flaunting your million dollar smile wherever you go.
Showing those shiny teeth and laughing out loud like you own the place. Own ANY place.
You don't give any flying fu**s to anyone and truly own the meaning of 'loving yourself.'
Between you and I - I dig you Pride. You made me blush and you tickle my insides when you grace me with your presence.
Sometimes though... sometimes dear Pride, you go too far.
Maybe from your own fear of Shame coming along and stealing your thunder.
Maybe you get high on yourself a bit.... know what I mean?
Maybe it's so intoxicating so you hide some of that authentic pride with a capital P PRIDE.
Or maybe you enjoy it a tad too much and invite infamous miss Ego over?
(Asking for a friend.)
But when you are gentle in your presence - you SHINE dear Pride.
You remind lil' old me not to be so darn hard on myself and let in some caring patting on my back. It feels good to rub that back. After all... the knots in it thanks to Doubt and Fear and Pressure and so many others... those knots hurt.
Your presence lightens their toll, Pride.
Grateful for you, but don't get over excited... okay?
Let Humility come along with you.
Together - you two are the golden ticket.
In a discussion about creativity, this quote by cartoonist Scott Adams kept popping up in my head:
'Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes,
art is knowing which ones to keep.'
To make mistakes, one must work through fear, perfectionism, vulnerability, trust and other belief patterns that keep us from jumping head on into the process of trial and error. But it's in the error that we find the most original creative solutions and ideas, it's in the least expected - the unknowns - that we come up with something NEW.
Here's to making mistakes.
A cup of coffee,
A window sill,
A cat purring on my lap,
And a wind so loud it breaks my heart piece by piece.
The wind has come down on the entire world
With its horror and its ravaging madness.
It is angry.
It is frightened.
It has been ignored for so long
It's now fueled with vengeance.
My cup of coffee is spilling drop by drop,
The window is shaking out of its core,
And the cat shrieks, afraid.
The wind has come down on us like fire,
And even a mighty fire can't save us now.
I remember more innocent times,
When coffee was hot enough,
And windows stayed in place,
And cats slept all day.
I remember when the wind didn't bother us so much,
When it was building its resentment,
Because we didn't understand it.
We didn't understand her.
Did we ever try to?
And while we blame the non believers -
It was US who saw the wind,
And let it boil.
It was US who used our plastic,
And tossed it out.
It was US who didn't want to change,
And who are now changed for good.
How will this story of a trillion pieces end?
Or is it only its beginning?
The beginning of detention,
When we all become better beings and better humans,
And habits are suddenly gone,
With their cattle,
And their pain.
When we all live happily ever after
Like fairytales that don't exist.
How will this story end?
I wonder as I drink my cup of coffee
in nothing else but a to-go cup.
'Imagination is more important than knowledge.'
I don't believe this quote need any introduction, but I'll give one anyways:
In a 1929 interview with the 'Saturday Evening Post', Einstein talked about his intuition about his theory of relativity. That lead the interviewer to ask Einstein about his thoughts on imagination and Einstein brought up this gem of a quote that has inspired me and so many others.
From the moment we are born (and some will say even long before), we are conditioned to behave in society. We are taught to walk, to talk, and to function as best as our parents know how to teach us. And that is as early as stories start circulating in our brains and our bodies. (and some will say - the stories start long before...)
We learn what is 'right' and 'wrong', what's 'good' or 'bad', what is a 'positive' and a 'negative' and an array of other less dual lessons we craft stories out of.
For some of us, learning what is perceived as 'right' and 'wrong' may lead to stories like 'I'm always doing something wrong.' For others - 'I'm always right'.
Other common stories we tell ourselves are 'I'm a failure', 'There's something wrong with me', 'I'm invisible', 'The world is out to get me.' and more... You may be thinking right this second: what is MY core belief that I'm in a complete blind spot on?
These stories - or 'Samskaras as Indian philosophers would call these belief imprints - are formed so early on, that they continue to unconsciously 'run' us over as we grow older. They may appear as a loud volatile emotional trigger, or as a subtle reaction or response to events in our lives. So, say we were rejected by a prospective lover? Our mind will bring up the familiar story of 'I'm a loser'. We see a police car pulling by and immediately the story 'The world is out to get me' can appear. To some, it's the 'I'm special' story that pops up in situations, and sometimes - our core beliefs can serve us well. They likely were formed (and don't quote me on this - I am not a psychologist or a behavior scientist, I'm purely a curious human!) to protect us in one way or another.
But more often than not - what protected us early on in life in one scenario or another, can be quite damaging and can create separation between us and the actual event of the moment. In other words...: we get 'triggered', lose some perspective of the situation, and we may end up taking part or creating a conflict.
If we are not digging deep and looking into our core beliefs about ourselves and ourselves IN the world - how do we know we are not operating from some sort of a blind spot? Well, no matter how aware we may be... or think we are... a blind spot is - well - BLIND.
It seems like are always running on SOME story... be it the narrative of the society we are in, our core beliefs, or even the fantasy of what we wish the moment was.
We are storytellers and story-makers.
When we like it - and when sadly - we do not.
These are the days of contentment:
The head that shook, and the mouth that laughed.
The child that grew, and the hand that loved it.
The sour, tender cries of a cat in a chilled February night.
Those were the times of the contentment.
But we didn't know we were content.
How could we?
Even when we utter words - we do not know them.
We don't know words, really.
Not but for what they are:
A foreign vessel to our feelings, our memories, our dreams.
They float and we grab them carelessly, recklessly, speedily.
Words do not make us content.
But people do.
And places do.
And happenings do.
Time... they say there is a time to live and a time to day.
Who are they?
Do THEY set the time?
And if so, will they rise up and tell us when is the time to live?
And when is the time to die?
I sit against a wall.
A cat on my lap.
And the moonlight at the window sends a kiss.
Is this contentment?
It is - for a moment.
And then - the moment is gone.
LOVE the dream of the moment,
not the moment in a dream.
*Image Owned by Tamar Pelzig
In April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling.
Header Art: Daniel Landerman