All The World's A Stage - A Collection Of Monologues

BEAU THE DUDE: 
Have you ever seen a flying edge? A toasted, skirtin’ round it’s edges flying edge? I’m not talkin’ in riddles here. I’m really askin’. Like- for real. Like when a man-asks-a-woman-to-marry-him real. Like job-interview real. Like your-son’s-christening real. Real question from me to you. I mean, I ain’t stupid, I can see you’re rollin’ your eyes at me and my questions. Like, why? You think you are some princess in those doc martens and those boobs fallin’ out? You ain’t. Maybe you were a long time ago, but the years… the years ain’t made ya pretty. They made ya sad. And smart. But smart won’t make ya pretty. My momma told me that, and she was NOT pretty, no ma’am, not when she was young, and not when she was old. She rolled her eyes too, y'know? She was damn fine at that. Like you are. She rolled her eyes like it was some doh and she was makin’ challa bread for Passover, braiding it all nice, like people do, like normal people do, so everyone can say to her ‘why Julia, that challa bread was darn delicious! ‘ ‘oh that? Oh yeah, i just whipped it out’ meanwhile, my pops would sport his eye roll a game, because he knew how my mom would slave away at the kitchen all afternoon to try making that challa bread all pretty. So yeah, even the prettiest challa gets old with the years. And it ain’t pretty no more. So whoever you once were, the face under those wrinkles of yours - it’s long gone sugar, and your eye roll ain’t pretty either.
But keep rolling your eye at me, cause what do I know, huh?I ain’t pretty OR smart.
I’m just a dude who loved his mom a whole lot. Im just a dude who’s single and don’t know how to talk right. How to talk right to you. I’m just a dude and you’re just a chick, or a woman, or a babe, or a lady or whatever you’d like me to think of you as. 
What do you say we do what dudes and chicks do, and get a drink sometimes? 
No? Oh, I get the eye roll AGAIN? 
Oh well, ya can't blame a dude for tryin'.