MAMMIE: DON'T give me that face. I know that face. I was BORN with that face. Nah, I created that face. I birthed that motherfuckin' face! Sit your ass down and have a listen, all right? Now. I don't mean to yell. You know I don't like no yelling. My voice gets scratchy and Juanita from apartment C will bang her broom on her ceiling if I yell. And then she'll shake her head at me by the mailbox or at the laundry room. And I like Juanita, allright? I like ALL my neighbors. We live in serenity, peace and community here in La quinta Queens apartment and so I can't - I repeat - I CAN'T YELL! God forbid they'll all give me the stinky eye and we'll end up losing my deposit and that would be a whole crock of shit!
So. Let's talk quietly and gently. Like adults. Like two adults having a simple conversation. JIMMY: I'm a kid. MAMMIE: Well then be an adult! For once. Afterwords be a kid all you want. JIMMY: ... MAMMIE: It's that face again. I said DON'T! That face breaks me. Chops me to little pathetic slabs of meat even a dog won't eat. Spare me the face or I'll swear to mother fuckin' god I'll YELL! Now. So. Did you go snoopin' around in my safe and opened up your birthday present a whopping five months early!?? JIMMY: ... MAMMIE: It's the face. Boy do I know that face. The 'you caught me' face!
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AuthorIn April 2020, while experiencing her first ever global pandemic, Tamar Pelzig pledged to write something every day, even if it's only a word, so she welcomed to the world a daily blog to keep her creative writing wheels rolling. Categories
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Header Art: Daniel Landerman |